-
Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
Young woman and old lady sit together in thought. -
"My daughter is 25, and she graduated from college around 3 years ago.
When she went to college, I was very firm that she needed to pick a major that would make her money and not a major that was her dream. It was a big argument at the time, and she made it clear that she was going to go for theater. I told her it was a horrible idea and to do something that would actually have her be able to support herself. I knew she wasn't the next Broadway actor.
Edit: I didn't pay for any of my kids' college. They took out loans. We didn't have the money. She wants me to pay all her loans, she is not asking for 3k, which would pay for her vacation cost.
I got 200k
-
She went into theater and took out loans. She is now working as a server for an interactive dining experience. She doesn't much much and lives with two other roommates.
-
Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
A large theater stage with red velvet curtains and an actress walking to the center. -
My mother recently passed away and she left me with a sizeable inheritance. I am putting it towards my retirement and going on a vacation (I am paying for the whole family to go). I told everyone over family dinner and was excited to take them out the country for the first time.
-
My daughter was quite and after dinner asked me to use the money to pay off her student loans. I told her no. We got into a fight about it and I told her this is her own fault. That I will not pay off her loans and it isn't fair to her siblings.
-
Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
Siblings happily wave to someone off camera while they are on a boat that is floating away. -
She is *issed and told me she isn't going on the trip. She is upset, I basically told her I told you so and thinks I am punishing her now. My point is that this was her decision, and it is unfair to the other kids.
-
On one hand, I understand the nuances of dealing with finances within a family system. It isn't easy. You can't just give a huge amount of money to one child and not the other. Even if that one child is the only one struggling. It's complicated. So the mother choosing not to give her the money, fine. I understand that.
But what kind of mother enjoys crushing her child's dreams? She couldn't be supportive even emotionally? Not just a tiny bit? That seems harsh to me. Yes, sure, maybe the daughter was making a mistake, but it is her life. You live and you learn; that is part of it. But if you don't at least attempt to reach for the stars, then what are you even doing? The mother was basically telling her to stop dreaming. Again, there's a difficult line here, the one where you want to help your kids but also let them be dreamers… Where do you start to teeter on it?
-
Update: I sent this post to my daughter when it started. We are going to get on a call
I got off a call with my daughter, and it boils down is she regrets her degree. She feels trapped in debt and wants to be further along in her career. She thought my inheritance would be the key out of it. She got into an argument with her brother because she went to rant to him. He apparently had some choice words.
She told me she doesn't want the money and asked instead if she could move back home and do an accelerated program (a year to two years)
I agreed."
Like what you see? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.